letters explained his grief, but she would never read...

ive been meaning to ask you, how life looks from the nosebleed seats....

2006-05-14T23:37:31Z

shitty mood, shitty weather, shitty day. nothing to cling to either.

feeling home sick when im already home. interesting contradiction that exists. not sure where i belong right now.

*rolls eyes*

it's time to meet the concrete, and get it off your chest

2006-05-14T17:12:02Z

home, but not much changes. sick of being used.....but yet im the accused when it comes to that subject. and always getting let down is never fun either.

but i dont wanna make it seem like ive had no fun since ive gotten home. its been pretty good. todays the only shit ass day as far as weather goes. blaaah. mothers day too. i hate it when im cooped up in this house.

"years pass, season change,
but i waited"

never again...

2006-04-17T15:01:58Z

so i went home for easter. wheewwww what an array of confusion, frustration, and damn good times.

horse the band, and fall of troy concert on friday was absolutely rediculous! zach ryan and i went, got punched in the eye, knocked in the stomach, and didnt even bother staying for Poison the Well. but i still had a blast. saturday night, just got drunk at my house w/ family / zach.....adam zach and i played for a little bit together. still excited about this whole band thing this summer.

www.myspace.com/lt3rock

....i scream on occasion haha

theres always one person who tends to ruin my at home experience. i think i just need to stop figuring out when she goes home, that way i dont get all fucking depressed when im let down, like always... might i add women in general suck?

>:-o

2006-04-10T17:30:23Z

theres never enough fucking time in the day. i swear to god....

justdrive_away @ 2006-04-09T01:50:00

2006-04-09T05:50:04Z

tony "tito" garcia and megan doyle are here. 757 <3

be jealous

:yawn:

2006-04-06T16:33:55Z

and all these stupid silly songs,
keep trying to catch your ear.
i'm trying desperately.
it's just so hard to persevere,
and even if you listened
i never had much to say
cause it's the same old song
i've written for the day.

this band is amazing

easter is next weekend...first practice w/ LT3. rather amped about that.

fall of troy and poison the well next friday at the norvaaa

justdrive_away @ 2006-04-03T09:45:00

2006-04-03T14:50:58Z

oh god, so i thought wilmington was my second "home away from home", but now it seems like Virginia Tech/Radford Univ. are....the two school are pretty much synonymous considering there are like 10min apart.

but at any rate, ryan and i drove up to blacksburg, VA /Radtown, usa (lol) in an attempt to escape from the complacency of greensboro. met up w. my friends Titooooooooo (student and resident mexican of VA-Tech)...blaaaah boy did i have a fucking good time.

although, i must say, getting kicked outta a party when all your friends have already left and having no way home is not fucking fun. i planned on sleeping outside that night (in the rain)...aside from all that, it'd take too long to explain everything that went on, but you get the idea.

best part is, i'll be back up there april 22nd for quad fest

i think megan and tito are coming down here friday. oh jesus.

dedicated to my ultimate let down:

2006-03-31T02:03:29Z

I'm never waking up again
so I'll never have to find out what you did.
Each day it's harder to pretend.
That your eyes aren't lying as much as your mouth did.

I'd grab your head by your hair and I'd hack it off.
And put it on display at the front of the yard
on a stick that's decorated with a little pink bow
and a sign that says "Her friends and family should have taught her more about love."

Dear Tragedy, I never had anybody.
But being alone wasn't half as bad as being obsessed
with a breath taker, a smile faker.
But these years alone have eaten me alive.

Recounting pages in a book.
That I'd torn out ashamed that one day you'd look.
Afraid that once you did you'd really know how it felt
to be a sucker on a string that you dragged around wherever you'd go.

I'm running around, around and it hurts.
Tempted to tape up the pages I'd ripped.
And although I recognize that we're attached at the lips,
you're the one in charge and that the captain's gotta sink with the ship.

and although i recognize that we're attached at the lips...

2006-03-29T21:02:28Z

over drafted my fuck account again. definite let down of the day, let alone i have to be at work in 90min.

everyone wants me to go to durham tonite to see some arena ice hockey game. cant do it. gotta fucking work. oh well.

....you're the one in charge and the captain's gotta sink with the ship

justdrive_away @ 2006-03-26T22:14:00

2006-03-27T03:16:29Z

fuck!

weekends over, time to start studying for tomm.'s spanish test.
had a good time entertaining some brit's last nite. seemed like everywhere i went friday nite, people kept coming up to me with the same question, "are you carson?" "ive seen you around whats your name?" hbahahaha i guess im just soooooo ~~popular~~

lol oh well

Got a single Silver Bullet
Shot right through my heart.
To prove ~~I can~~ survive,
Without you.

more bayside

2006-03-24T23:57:45Z

another weekend is about to start....whew. hectic week. this is a much desereved break i think. kinda let loose last nite and got shitfaced at pete's...haha it was good to run into adam bolt. that fuckin bastard has gone into hiding. but he's living on tate street now so that should facilitate things.

looks like its gonna be rolling rock and a keg for me tonite =)

omgggggg i am over ecstatic about starting this band this summer with my brother and zach. cannot fucking wait.

Now I realize, I'd give anything I have
to walk a day in my old shoes.
Wondering what my first smoke would be like,
my first fuck, my next fuck up.

I hate myself, more than i ever let on, im burnt out...

2006-03-21T15:33:04Z

im so overwhelmed right now with everything that has been going on as far as school. chances are im not gonna return back to UNCG next semester. my parents are pretty much giving up on sending me back here....probably has to do with my ~~amazing~~ academic achievements since enrolling here in fall 2004.

i fucking knew i shoulda dropped that god damn fucking class and no i have no way of passing it and no way of dropping it w/o recieving an F on my transcript. i honestly think my dad is gonna fucking kill me

"Pound my knuckles hard against the floor. My head against the wall, but I did this to myself."

we're yelling through the streets, and im out of my fucking mind

2006-03-20T20:36:22Z

love and drugs makes pupils get big

i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee these people

let it ROLL baby roll.

2006-03-19T15:46:18Z

this weekend had to have been one of the best times ive ever had...last nite was absolutely incredible. im so glad adam zach and jessi came down. sorry for not answering my fone last nite...haha. definitely had the most fun with those four people than i would have had at any party. omggggg

im making salisbury, md my second home. <333

saves the day and the doors...their music never sounded better, than it did last nite

justdrive_away @ 2006-03-17T12:03:00

2006-03-17T17:03:55Z

I've overheard it once
This has gone on before.
It's still one in the same
(We are accounted for)
We seem so far away from,
These things we used to know.
We seem so far away from everything

my brother, zach and jessi are coming tonite for the weekend. get ready!

justdrive_away @ 2006-03-15T11:39:00

2006-03-15T16:39:53Z

I ~~never~~ told you what you were missing

actually, i have since day one, you just chose not to fucking listen

theres no explanation for the things i've failed at before

2006-03-14T21:47:39Z

theres a fucking tornado spinning in my head right now. so many things on my mind, and im sorry if i had to let some things go. i didnt mean to, and nor did i do it to spite anyone, but right now i just cannot deal with some things goin on inside me. hard to explain, but i dont know any other way to put it i guess.

spring break was good. ventured through about 4 states in 5 days. maryland was by far the best time, i.e. thursday nite. saturday nite zach ryan karen and i drove up from salisbury, MD to ocean city for a HXC show, feat. scatter the fallen. pretty good.

oh yea, coming this summer < 3 ....you'll understand soon

words of wisdom

2006-02-28T04:26:46Z

we make believe every day.
we make our lives seem like they're still worth living.
when we find out in the end,
it's only us that we've been kidding.

god i love bayside

sorry. cracked out on adderall. felt the need to post this

justdrive_away @ 2006-02-23T20:47:00

2006-02-24T01:48:39Z

petes tonite. sorta buzzed already.

going homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee tomorrow for the weekend. ryans tagging along. should eb fun.

finally figured out my password on myspace. jesus took me long enough. im missing emery. they;re playing tomrrow in winston. im sad. rock the fuck out

7FIFTY7 tomrrow.

<3 carson

justdrive_away @ 2006-02-23T20:47:00

2006-02-24T01:48:39Z

only if he could push his way off and fight you

2006-02-12T15:32:23Z

well this weekends come to an end...funeral yesterday was really nice. sad too. :-/

got to hang out w/ my cousin again...felt like we were all on the cruise again. it was fucking wierd. just saw all of em only a month and a half ago. got to watch the video from the cruise that mikey made. god damn some funny shit.

after the funeral, allllllllllllll the lucarelli's came back to my cousin house. one big italian drunk fest. hahhaa my dads dad passed the fuck oput at like 730. we were all hammered by 5. adam, my brother got so fucking retarded he passed out leaning up against the door. good times.

i'll be back in roughly 12hrs!

:-/

2006-02-06T17:25:01Z

well, normally i try not to answer fone calls frmo my parents, in essence because i try to avoid confrontation over my own issues, but i felt like an asshole today when i didnt answer a fone call from my dad...he called to tell my his brother, my uncle, died last nite in his sleep. not sure how to feel abnout this right now. we were just with him and the rest of my family for ten days on that cruise, and now, exactly one month later he is gone. im not gonna be here this weekend. most likely i'll be in pittsburgh for the funeral. atleast jimmy got to see his team win the bowl. 48 years old, and hes gone...i didnt realize how deadly alcoholism was

oh we're just a wetdream for the webzine

2006-02-01T16:11:38Z

happy 21 bday liz! <3

this weekend was absolutely amazing. went down to myrtle beach with ronda audry and ryan to see AVENGED SEVENFOLD AND CKY. talk about getting crunked. crashed at rondas house, got to see the beaaaaaaaaaaaaach. omg

i am absolutely enthralled over getting to see panic at the disco. its all my ears have been listening to the past two months. i cant stop..ahhh@!

yea, and i love how someone thinks they can just start talking to me again, after they told me they want me fucking dead...et cetera not to mention threatening to vandalize our new house? yea eff that. i dont understand her

when i think of what you did,
and how i ~~hope~~ to god he was worth it

this is exactly what ive been waiting for

2006-01-19T15:57:40Z

aaaaaaaaah lifes been grand since i came back to greensboro.

my nites have been spent mainly in philliphawkins, and i love it.

rented some movie last nite with heather, liz and ashley, turned out to be not what we wanted. im complaining to block buster. so instead we watched an old fav of mine, full metal jacket.

PANIC AT THE DISCO, HELLOGOODBYE, THE ACADEMY IS, AND THE ACCEPTANCE feb15 in mrytle beach. ryan liz and i are going so far. everyone else needs to buy tickets. NOW

these people suddenly mean alot. i love it
frc <3

|::FRC::|

2006-01-18T00:43:28Z

FRC
these are my fucking people